Dear Amy: My 31-year-old daughter is “happy with her size.” He doesn’t mind that he’s about 300 pounds at 5 foot-5 – unless he has mood swings and then gets mad at me because I’m not as big as him.
I never bring up this topic – ever. I don’t know what to say and I have to be very careful how I address this topic.
Besides, we get on well.
I worry that her health is in danger, but I dare not say a word about her overweight.
All (or most) of his friends are also very big.
She resents me being small. I don’t know what to do or what to say.
At a loss for words)
He is an adult and is free to make unhealthy choices just as you are. What he doesn’t get to do is to blame or embarrass you. Same goes for you, by the way.
The National Institutes of Health Lung and Blood at the National Institutes of Health say the following: “Obesity is a serious medical condition that can lead to complications such as metabolic syndrome, high blood pressure, atherosclerosis, heart disease, diabetes, high blood cholesterol, cancer, and sleep disorders. disorders.
According to the CDC: From 1999 to 2018, the prevalence of American obesity increased from 30.5 percent to 42.4 percent. The prevalence of severe obesity increased from 4.7 percent to 9.2 percent during the same period.
Nevertheless, it is possible to be both obese and healthy, according to both of these sources, despite the risk factors presented by obesity.
You point out that if your daughter feels bad you will somehow feel better – that if she is sad you can be really happy. She is your daughter. How will his unhappiness serve either of you?
My point of view is that unhappiness does not help a person lose weight; In fact, I believe the opposite is true. Happiness is good for your health overall.
A person needs to draw upon the reserves of strength and self-esteem to embark on the health journey.
You are not responsible for your daughter’s mood swings, nor should you allow her to molest you. Encourage her to have regular medical checkups.
Dear Amy: My 25 year old step daughter is an absolute dream, sweet, smart and thoughtful. She is working full time in her first professional job.
He has a habit I’m not sure about. When she is upset, she cries so loudly that it can become hysterical. She will then seek rest and, having received it, will recover quickly and well.
This isn’t a frequent occurrence, but I’m wondering if an adult should process their emotions this way?
Dear Uncertain: Whether this is how an adult should process their emotions is almost unimportant; your step daughter like this Does Process his feelings. I suspect she mainly (or only) does this with family members.
My view is that as long as she doesn’t create or extend drama beyond her limited shelf-life, and until she is fully recovered, you should accept it as an emotional flare that she Will probably learn to revise as she continues to mature.
Many of us have had embarrassing episodes (fiction) of crying at work. Let’s hope she survives this experience.
Dear Amy: “Desperate” was the grandmother of two very troubled teenage grandchildren and one grandson who seemed stable.
Desperate’s daughter was pushing to pick up one of these teens for the summer.
You suggested Grandma to have a grandson of hers who was No It was spot on to stay with him for a while.
It would be good if that teenager gets away from the drama in the house.
I was 17 when my brother died. My parents were consumed by the grief that summer and our household life were in disarray. I was already a temperamental teenager and didn’t have to deal with day-to-day crises.
I am eternally grateful to a woman who offered me a summer job to take care of the children with her children. I needed to get away from home as much as possible.
I will be forever grateful to that woman. Her children, now grown ups, still remember that summer.
It was a bright spot in an otherwise pitiful state.
Dear Grateful: It is a deep tribute to the duties of babysitting and the healing power offered by distractions.
You can email Amy Dickinson at [email protected] or send a letter to Ask Amy, PO Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow him on Twitter @askingamy or on Facebook.