Casino de Teruel hosted the third Tuesday in the session of Health and prosperity cycle in all ages, in Health and happiness. Teruel psychologist Elena Morales gave a speech to Narciso What do you say when you don’t know what to say? with simple tips to learn to accompany others when they have a problem. This specialist who works at the Cruz Blanca Foundation of Psychology studied in Teruel and has a Master’s degree in Social Intervention of people at risk of exclusion and training in Psychotherapy in childhood, adolescence and families.
– It is very common not to know what to say in situations because of the fear of being teased.
-It happens a lot. From a common problem when you are small, for example, a friend who cries and you do not know what to say or in adults, at a funeral. Both culturally and for all ages there are conditions in which it happens.
– What should be considered in these situations?
– We are thinking about the situation of feeling. Sometimes we say all the inner phrases like: “Don’t cry, calm down” or “Everything is fine” without thinking. He must think carefully, know what to say and how. If you know the person, you will know what you are doing, and if not, you will have to think about what will help you, knowing that it is you.
-What are the keys you will give in your speech?
– I talked about the key to not having a negative reaction: not denying that people feel what they feel, saying things like nonsense or that you are not going to have it because we don’t help you… that you are worse.
What could we say?
-As we differ, sometimes we ask people what you should do. We are not lots, we do not know what will suit you, what you ask: what do you need? or is there anything I can do for you? You can also say: I understand how you feel, and I will be there to support you. The fundamental thing is to give value to the emotion, to normalize how you feel.
-Now we live in a society in which it seems that you are always happy: is it more difficult to deal with someone not feeling well?
– Every day this is sold at a higher price. Selling mugs or t-shirts are always super positive phrases. They force you to be happy. We have many emotions, and they are all powerful, and you must live them. It’s a culture of fruit, you have to do things all day and do things happily, that’s the pressure.
conditions
– Do these things, in which you do not know what to say or what to say inappropriately, happen more in every age?
This age does not understand. It’s like something we inherit. When you are little, if something happens, they tell you: Don’t cry, it’s nonsense. You move when you’re an adult. It affects all ages, it passes from generation to generation. Sometimes you don’t need to talk, just enough. If a man weeps, offering only a handkerchief, or that which is a man, it is just that he should bear it.
– Mental health issues are increasing, this type of policy is important for those who surround these people.
-I think you should take care of the carer. When someone is not well around someone for a long time, it also affects you, and you end up not knowing what to do. Take care of yourself and how you help him and how he helps you.
Why do you want to talk about your position?
— I have always discovered how to console a friend or a relative. for which reason I inquired and formed myself. Now I’m working with different problems on a foundation and you should know what I’m talking about. Research helps me in my daily life, without work, to interact with people around me, what to say to them, and it helps me. When you are bad, you also have something to say to yourself.
Is it difficult to talk about feelings?
-There are many emotions and some, such as fear, anger and sadness, are not allowed to be expressed. Expressing anger is not shouting or arguing, but you can say that you are angry, or if someone feels sad, that you live with sadness, not joy. It is healthy to live the emotions of each important person.
