Dear Harriet: Things were going great with my boyfriend until a few nights ago.
I learned that he got into a physical altercation with his ex-girlfriend’s new boyfriend. He encountered the man at a party and suffered some injuries after the fight.
This is a huge red flag for me. Why was he confronting this man until he had unresolved feelings for his ex-girlfriend?
I feel very conflicted now because I have no interest in being with someone who is still in love with his ex. Would breaking up with him on this be a hasty decision? We haven’t really had any discussion about this.
giant red flag
Dear Giant Red Flag: You are right to be overly concerned about this fight. Sit down with your boyfriend and ask him to explain what caused the fight.
listen carefully. Ask him if he has unresolved feelings for his ex. Ask him to tell you if he has been in fights before. You need to get to know him to determine if he has a temperament that you can live with. Be careful not to put him in a corner when you talk to him. But let him know that you are extremely worried.
If he refuses to talk about the incident, consider that a red flag. If enough signs feel uncomfortable or suspicious, end the relationship.
You have to trust your gut and protect yourself too. Do not annoy him to such an extent that he may attack you. Call things out as you see them, and let him know how you want to proceed. Back up from friends and loved ones when needed.
Dear Harriet: I took a job as an assistant to a celebrity hairstylist a few months back.
Sometimes, when she’s late for an appointment or has to leave unexpectedly early, I’ll start or finish work myself. Despite this, when he posts pictures of clients on his (very popular) Instagram page, he never gives me credit for helping them. Credit alone would be enough to help me secure my own clients.
I don’t know how to approach them about crediting me without making things awkward. I don’t want to lose this job, but I need to take the risk someday to venture on my own. How do I ask him for credit?
tag me in pictures
Tag me in pictures dear: Sorry but what you are asking is not how it works.
I have a background in editorial and fashion. Usually, any work is credited to the leading stylists. The support team is valued and paid, but it is not necessary that styling assistants receive credit for the work. Of course, some stylists are more generous than others with credit. But this is not a common practice.
What you need to do is hone your skills, do the best job possible, learn the craft and build relationships with respect.
You have only been there for a short time. Develop a relationship with your stylist. Learn from him Tell her how much you appreciate working for her in the moment.
You should look for independent opportunities to model and work with other people independent of your boss. Start your own social media page, and post your styles there. Please register your attendance. pay attention.
If the time comes when you can post a picture with your boss or at one of their shoots to show that you are part of that world, do so. But be sure to get his permission first.
Harriet Cole is a lifestyleist and the founder of DreamLeapers, an initiative to help people reach and activate their dreams. You can send questions to [email protected] or Andrews McMichael Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.