“After I left the last treatment center, I knew what made me happy,” Selena explains, “and it was connection.”
But on her doctor’s orders, Selena’s planned charity visit to Kenya to visit the schools she had been raising money for was delayed for several years due to her kidney transplant in 2017. Once she is finally ready to make the trip in 2019, she is committed to a quarterly visit.
“The truth is, I never felt good enough,” Selena admitted. “Even when I’m on stage in front of a crowd, I always find a person who doesn’t like me and I believe them, I want to believe in myself. The people I have met here in Kenya are so generous, I just want to feel like I deserve to be here with them.
During her time in Maasai Mara, Selena speaks to students about love, ambition and, in a particularly emotional conversation with one woman, suicidal thoughts.
After her time in Kenya, Selena heads straight to London and Paris to promote her music, but finds it difficult to adjust to life as a celebrity. “It seems like a waste of time,” he said. “What am I doing right now?”
After admitting that “a part of my heart is still in Kenya,” Selena admitted, “Sometimes I felt bad about being there. I hate this, I feel like I went and filmed it and experienced it but it’s so hard because I feel so selfish.” “Do I feel great? Yes, and do I feel like I made an impression? Yes, but do I feel like I’ve done enough? No.”
“It’s nice to talk to someone about mental health in Kenya,” she continued. “I don’t know if I felt like, ‘Oh, I did it and I’m a great person.’ No, it’s just the beginning for me.”