In her attempt to distance herself from social media, Lorde has maintained a close relationship with her fans via email for years, sending them regular letters to provide them with details about her personal and professional life. The last of these letters arrived last night, in which the singer wanted to be honest with her fans about her emotional state.
“I have been in London since May. I didn’t see many friends; “Above all, I am alone with my thoughts,” says Lorde at the beginning of the text. The artist performed at several festivals in the UK this summer, including Boardmasters in Cornwall, where she sang two unreleased songs. “I’m starting to miss my friends and family like a vitamin I’m missing,” he continues.
However, Lorde’s words later have an impact when she admits that she is heartbroken. “I’m living in heartbreak again. It’s different but the same. It hurts constantly, I forget why and then I remember it again. I’m not trying to hide from the pain. I now understand that there is no hiding from the pain and that there is actually great beauty in moving forward with it. But sometimes I get tired of being with myself,” she writes, without elaborating on the cause.
In addition, the artist admits that the pain she suffers is also physical: “My body is very inflamed, it tries to tell me something and I try to help it, but nothing seems to work and that frustrates me. Lorde reveals that her stomach is no longer feeling well, that her skin is worse than ever, and that she has been sick half a dozen times and has also stopped taking her usual medications. “I stopped taking the little yellow pill that I have taken thousands of times every morning since I was 15 five days ago. “I’ll see how it goes.”
Lorde has spoken on other occasions about her need to disconnect from the internet. In the letter he alludes to a possible relapse. “I go online and see everyone. They all look very thin. Just thinking about it makes me feel tired and distant. I’m not sure if it has an impact on others. “I spend money all the time wondering if what’s in the box will make me feel good, but I guess I’m buying the wrong things.”
“I record albums because I have to. The songs are magic; a spell to release something, a spell to open a door. Every time I can put something into words the way I see it, every time I add the right music to it, a knot unravels within me. In “Melodrama,” her second studio album, the singer processed some of her most painful feelings. Now he realizes that it’s not easy to make music in this state. “But it also hurts to face the knots. “I’ve taken enough shots to know that this feeling of my skin falling off in strips is part of it.”
Lorde has not released any music since her 2021 “Solar Power.” The difficult emotional moment that the artist is going through may be reflected in her return, but there are still no clear signs that we will see her soon.