Reproduction who give their children Narcissistic Mothers and Fathers Going against basic qualities for good education and company of children Empathy, compassion, and a willingness to make some of your needs secondary.
doctor Ramani Durvasula, Psychologist, specializing in the study of the effects of self-defense on family relationships have explored how the upbringing by people with this personality trait affects family relationships. He also assured that he has seen how such cases are increasing.
Durvasula cautioned that autism parenting is not about bragging on social media or forcing kids into harsh extra-curricular activities. “It goes a long way and is one of the most toxic ways to raise your kids. Narcissistic parents have difficulty allowing their children to be their own person or meet their own needs,” he said in a note. CNBC,
The problem for a narcissistic adult, when they have children, is that children don’t offer the kind of consistent positive feedback they want, and these self-centered parents react in two different ways. . Durvasula and Keith Campbell, professors of psychology at the University of Georgia and experts in narcissism, noted that, on the one hand, Some lose interest in their children when they do not receive that approval and seek other sources of validation.
On the other hand, other narcissists see their children as reflections of themselves and become helicopter parents: hyperactive and controlled. in both cases, Disconnection is the key pointExperts say that even overly involved narcissistic parents become emotionally detached from their child and lack warmth.
experts gathered The 7 Most Common Traits of Narcissistic Fathers and Mothers Explained:
1- They see their child as a source of recognition
The expert explained it this way: “Often Narcissists” They brag loudly about their kids When they score the winning goal or have the lead in a school game. They can be seen constantly bragging online or talking about the beauty or talent of their children.”
But… when it’s not your child’s accomplishments, it’s the parent. “Isolated and Disinterested”, It also shames the recognition needs that their children have and, conversely, “they see them as a tool to satisfy those needs for themselves.”
2- They are emotionally reactive, but they embarrass their children’s feelings
Durvasula recalled a 2021 study that observed “people with high levels of egoism are prone to aggressive and violent behavior, especially when provoked.” Thus, narcissistic mothers and fathers are often Angry and aggressive when frustrated or frustrated. “If you feel that your child is being critical or defiant, They can attack. These reactions can manifest as screaming, sudden anger or, in more severe cases, physical violence”, remarked the psychologist.
these people They dismiss other people’s feelings because they feel uncomfortable And, sometimes, they go so far as to shame their children that they don’t share what they feel. “get over it, it wasn’t that bad” or “stop crying and be stronger”, There are phrases you can hear them say.
3- They always put their needs first
It is true that sometimes you have to put everyday problems before the normal needs of children, but Durvasula pointed out that egoistic parents “They expect their children to make sacrifices so that they can do whatever they want or do whatever they want.”
“For example, if parents love to go sailing, their kids should go sailing every weekend. Or if dad has a tennis match, he’ll never leave it, even for something as important as a graduation ceremony. ,He gives assurance.
4- They have bad boundaries
they are disrespectful to their children You From avoiding interacting with your child because they don’t feel like it, to interrupting and asking them to do what they want “The kid to validate them,” he said.
sometimes ask questions or openly criticize your children in “intrusive” ways, Such as commenting on weight, appearance or other characteristics that make the child feel uncomfortable.
5- They have favorites among their children
Narcissistic Mothers and Fathers They make the mistake of exalting one of their sons by manipulating them to maintain power. so they might have a favorite son Which they highly praise while doing evil to the other child.
This, said the expert, “could become Children feel uncomfortable, unfaithful and psychologically insecure. They may believe that they need to agree with or influence the narcissistic parent in order to escape their anger and maintain a good reputation in the family unit.
6- They blame their children
Narcissistic People Need to Feel Perfect for Them They avoid taking responsibility for their mistakes and often blame their children, “They can be cruel when they feel criticized and their comments often hurt,” he said.
These could be some of his typical phrases: “It’s your fault I’m so tired” or “If I didn’t have to deal with you, I could have made a good career.”
Over time this type of commentChildren will assimilate them and feel guilty: “When I need to, I make everyone feel down or underperformed,” they might think.
7- They expect the child to be the caregiver
Durvasula believes that narcissistic mothers and fathers often send the message to their children that they have an obligation to care for them when they are young.
This often spreads well into adulthood, when the narcissistic parent “can be quite manipulative,” she said. A general comment might be: “I fed you and dressed you, so do me a favor now”, Many narcissists expect their children to provide them with care and support later in life.
Could there be any change?
The expert didn’t limit himself to loading up ink on a narcissist’s damaging traits and assures that a change is possible. “If you find yourself relating to any of the above symptoms, Don’t worry, we all have a certain level of self-involvement. However, there are several strategies you can use to change your mindset and habits.”
and he provided these figures to take away
1- “Don’t deceive your son. If they say: ‘You’re always mad at me’, don’t say: ‘It’s not like that’, It will only confuse them more. Instead, approach the child with empathy: ‘very sorry. Would you like to talk about it? How are you feeling?'” he recommended to answer.
2- “Have another strategy Avoid Forced Apologies, Forcibly forgiving a father benefits from sweeping his bad behavior down the rug, but It only encourages self-blame and confusion in the child. Let the child experience it,” he said.
3- Finally, “Consider therapy, It is one of the best places to trace their attitudes and parenting tendencies”, he concluded.