List of problems that would be solved immediately if the aliens suddenly arrived: the expulsion of Nicolás Redondo from the PSOE, the alliance of the Korean Kim Jong-un with Valdimiro Putin in his fight against the satanic West, the true nature of Feijoo’s actions on the other hand, the investiture – no, not his; another investiture that has not yet been considered – do the benefits of artificial intelligence outweigh its dangers?, tolerance for religious clothing in schools, Pedro Sánchez should give in when Carles Puigdemont demanded that he become vice president of the government to provide support have the Junts? MPs, the return of Donald Trump to the US presidency, is there anyone else at Vox – apart from those who agree with the PP, of course -?
You would have seen that in the media today. In small messages at the end of the even pages we are informed about the most important event that has ever happened to humanity. We would have evidence of phenomena of extraterrestrial origin. What’s new about it? Well, for the first time, the statement comes not from a nice old man pointing with his stick at the place where the ship that kidnapped him landed, but from an unfriendly and hyper-gallant old man from the CIA who takes photos with a pointing pointer. Things were even worse in Mexico because we have the Corpus Delicti itself, and it turns out it’s cheesier than a cheesy drawing of an alien. Nature imitates art, especially the pixelated images of a 17-year-old incel wanker.
Now I fear that the probability of the Mexican dolls coming from Raticulín is too close to absolute zero. It is not easy to understand that the absolutely enormous size of the universe and its incredible age indicate to us at the same time the very high probability of other extraterrestrial life forms and the very high improbability of their contact. We take two grains of dust and drop them at two random points in Spain at two random times within the same century. What is the probability that they will collide? Well, the same goes for the fact that this whole setup by the US military is not a cover based on strange phenomena that exist in some area in order to, I don’t know, cover up something in the Rubiale case.
Zapatero didn’t just leave us a Jupiter theory about the infinity of the universe. Even a few years ago, he thought he had an idea that would go down in history: Why not form an alliance of all civilizations, in which those who were historically enemies become friends? Kant? Marx? Hegel? fans. Why can not we Be Friends? Well, we can’t be friends because there are no aliens, José Luis. Alliances are always made against something. Without a common enemy, we are all enemies of each other. The only possibility of a PSOE-PP pact is that the Ninot presented in Mexico last week was real. The future of Spain depends as much on Puigdemont as it does on some Inca aliens.